Celebriticians Drink My Milkshake
There used to be a time when it was taken for granted that entertainers who stood up to say something meant it. This time was the majestic 1960’s, and, all personal feelings of despair that I missed the boat by a good 30 years aside, we are all a little less lucky for being here now instead of there then. Dylan, the Beatles, Joni Mitchell… we know that they sometimes had thoughts because sometimes they wrote songs about them. This is not unlike what a few musicians do today. But when I hear old records of Dylan espousing his political ideals, I don’t feel the same urge to rip my own hair out that this induces.
In my opinion, celebrities today officially forfeit the right to have political beliefs the moment they take on that title (at least as far as the public is concerned). By virtue of being a celebrity, they lose the right to tell me what they think. I do not care, and nor should you. Why, you say? Because we are talking about people who are willing to exploit every aspect of their personal and professional lives in a continuous slew of carefully crafted PR moves to achieve fame and maintain it. There is just no time in a schedule like that for punditry. To put it bluntly, they are puppets and they should sing and dance when I endorse it.
But why do I so blindly accept the integrity of the musicians of yore when I confront every dribble out of the mouths of today’s celebriticans with such skepticism? The reason is simple. Living in the digital age, we require of our entertainers a kind of bare naked exposure that keeps many of them afloat. Us buying into it is what powers the celebri-beast, so I can’t really fault them for allowing it. It serves the greater purpose: fame. What I can do, however, is criticize those who choose to run their dumb mouths about important things, like who should be the next leader of the free world, and expect me to care.
To will.i.am, I say kudos for having a cute little opinion. Really. But please don’t expect me to heed your advice to both “take action and activate [my] passion” and to shake my “lovely lady lumps.” At least not in the same week. And I just heard that song yesterday.
