Amypee’s Weblog

There used to be a time when it was taken for granted that entertainers who stood up to say something meant it. This time was the majestic 1960’s, and, all personal feelings of despair that I missed the boat by a good 30 years aside, we are all a little less lucky for being here now instead of there then. Dylan, the Beatles, Joni Mitchell… we know that they sometimes had thoughts because sometimes they wrote songs about them. This is not unlike what a few musicians do today. But when I hear old records of Dylan espousing his political ideals, I don’t feel the same urge to rip my own hair out that this induces.

In my opinion, celebrities today officially forfeit the right to have political beliefs the moment they take on that title (at least as far as the public is concerned). By virtue of being a celebrity, they lose the right to tell me what they think. I do not care, and nor should you. Why, you say? Because we are talking about people who are willing to exploit every aspect of their personal and professional lives in a continuous slew of carefully crafted PR moves to achieve fame and maintain it. There is just no time in a schedule like that for punditry. To put it bluntly, they are puppets and they should sing and dance when I endorse it.

But why do I so blindly accept the integrity of the musicians of yore when I confront every dribble out of the mouths of today’s celebriticans with such skepticism? The reason is simple. Living in the digital age, we require of our entertainers a kind of bare naked exposure that keeps many of them afloat. Us buying into it is what powers the celebri-beast, so I can’t really fault them for allowing it. It serves the greater purpose: fame. What I can do, however, is criticize those who choose to run their dumb mouths about important things, like who should be the next leader of the free world, and expect me to care.

To will.i.am, I say kudos for having a cute little opinion. Really. But please don’t expect me to heed your advice to both “take action and activate [my] passion” and to shake my “lovely lady lumps.” At least not in the same week. And I just heard that song yesterday.

So, according to People, J. Lo finally squeezed ‘em out last night in the wee hours of last night.  How crude, you say, to talk about two precious new lives so unfeelingly? I agree. But, alas,  this is our relationship with the über famous  starlet has become.   While some might think it unfair, let’s examine the facts, please.  Upon invoking my most visceral reactions to memories of J. Lo headlines past, I am first compelled to talk about the fact that “J. Lo” is a moniker for a genuinely talented actress/singer/dancer I once knew as Jennifer Lopez.  The name change turned her into a brand, and the spectacle that is her personal life soon obliterated the faint memory of all her artistry. But this is what she asked for.  

If she didn’t bestow herself with the new name, she certainly embraced it.  The name not only generated a remarkably marketable image that would propel her career into superstardom, but it also must have provided for her somewhat of a safe haven.  For, while J. Lo’s name was strewn about the pages of the gossip rags, Jennifer Lopez probably experienced the same human emotions that we, a distanced and unsympathetic public, experience ourselves.  But J. Lo, a mere plaything, has just become a mommy, and everything has changed. 

In order for J. Lo to reconcile the fate of her career with the fate of her children and her marriage, she will have to strike a very careful PR crusade that, though to the untrained eye will appear as if she is simply living her life, will be carefully controlled.  She will have to walk the fine line between exploiting her children’s much deserved privacy and giving the hungry masses just a little taste, in order to keep J. Lo, the icon, afloat and Jennifer, the mother, sane.     

So, I know that Tom Cruise is the easy target du jour these days, and a more sensitive person might take a moment to consider giving the guy a break.  But, the fact is, the dude is asking for it. And that, dear reader, is exactly what I find most _______. I’m waiting to see if by the end of this post I can appropriately fill in that blank.    Perhaps the word is “amusing,” but it could just as easily be “vexing.”  I’ve considered “sad,” though I’m tempted to say “impressed.”  In any case, musing over Tom’s apparent lunacy has left my universe feeling totally discordant.Am I concerned for the former American darling’s mental well-being? No. We all know that he is off his rocker, but he seems pretty happy about it.  And he’s not really hurting anyone along the way.  In fact, he’s provided many people I know with endless hours of entertainment, most recently with his infamous new video the Gawker vigilantes refuse to take down.  My question is, how does this stuff keep getting out? Why does he continue to put himself in these absurd situations? Certainly if anyone could keep the right people around to keep the lid on a big jar-o’-crazy airtight, it would be Tom Cruise.  Then it hit me.   Is Tom scheming?  It does seem as though his Scientology mania has become his “thing” these days.